4 pm phone call

She asked him to watch her purse

Went to the bathroom

And did not return right away

He sent a lady to check on her

He said her name was Evelyn

The lady returned and said

Evelyn was sobbing

George left a tip and walked out

Into the high desert sun

He carried a Belk sack

They had been shopping

He repeated the words

Screw her under his breath

As he walked to the valet station

He had seen through her

She was going to break up with him

That was why she wanted to have lunch

But she had lost her nerve

His car was brought around

He smelled rubber

The young man had loved the Lotus

He did not tip him

But he did not scold him either

No more confrontations right now

George made the tires sing himself

As he left the parking lot

He weaved through traffic

And out to the freeway

He was halfway to Vegas

Driving at over 100 mph

Before he called her apartment

He wanted to leave a message

Rita her roommate

Was the voice on the machine

This message is for Evelyn

I know why you went to the bathroom

I am ready for whatever you say

I am a big boy, you know

Don’t treat me with gloves

Break it to me straight

I’m heading to Vegas

I’ll call at exactly 4 tomorrow

If you want to talk

Be at home then

And I’ll hear you out

He laid down the phone

And floored it again

His speed rose to 180

Damn women anyway

Why were they necessary?

He drove at top speed

The remaining 65 miles

His vigilance at staying on the road

Kept him from thinking of her

He had selected Leonard Cohen

From his playlist

And turned it up loud

But Cohen’s attempt at depth

Began to wear thin

So he had turned it off

And listened to the

Throaty engine

In the Four Seasons

He took a long shower

And saw himself in the mirror

As he came out of the steam

Big bags under his eyes

Blue pockets of unrest

The TV was on 54

When he turned it on

Before he could change it

Some evangelist shouted

God wants you to be happy!

You never knew

What might be on the TV

Down he went

In the channels

Nothing caught his eye

The Dodgers and Giants

Sunday night game

John Miller speculating

How many current Yankees

Would make the Hall of Fame

Joe Morgan concluded none would

Forget baseball

What about E channel?

Nothing but Sex on Sunset Strip

Not too exciting

Since the strip was just down below him

He picked up the phone

And asked for shows and times

In his hotel

Then he made up his mind

At four p.m. tomorrow

He would be

On a plane

Or a boat

But he would not be

On the phone

Two Cool Jerks and a Health Nut Walk Into a Hospital

Try to stop me if you don’t want to hear this one

Two cool jerks and a health nut walk into a hospital

One of the cool jerks says to the others

Can you believe the size of this place?

Yes I can, says the health nut

Given the poor diet most people eat

I wonder that it’s not even bigger

So, says one of the cool jerks

You will never get sick, right?

The health nut replied:

I did not say that, I said…

But the second cool jerk interrupted

No, you were saying people get sick

Because they do not eat properly

You eat properly, therefore

You will not get sick

Okay, said the health nut

Yes, I probably will not get sick as often

Well, said one of the cool jerks

When I am admitted to this hospital

I want to be sick

I don’t ever want to be lying in one of these things

Dying of nothing.

Ha Ha Ha, said the other cool jerk.

The health nut shook his head.

The Dr. Together

We went to the Dr. together

Not one supporting the other

Both being seen

Technically my appointment

Was a half hour before yours

But they called our names

Paul and Tang-a

Incorrectly

You mumbled, they’re not here

Who wants to be weighed first?

I did, warning her

My clothes weigh five pounds

I registered 145

I whisper to you

I warned her

We walk by the height

Ruler

And as we are seated

I say, I guess you are assuming

Our heights have not changed

Instead of saying yes,

She said something I’ve forgotten

She read from her computer

Our numbers from before

From January for you

From September for me

Your glucose was one number better

Than mine, but you are medicated

She took your BP and it was low

Lower than mine

She wanted to know

If you usually ran low

You said no

And that you had been getting dizzy

Not something you had told me

My pulse was 48

She wanted to know

If my rate was usually low

I said I run marathons and stuff

You grimaced at that

Pretending to care if I saw you

Your pulse was almost as slow as mine

You whispered something like

I run too

She said she could use the old numbers

But the NP said no, she needed blood

I was glad to show off my veins

You began to worry

They needed blood for my prostate

She joked you had no prostate

You said something like,

It’s a well-kept secret

I suggested they might do you first

And let you get to work

She wanted to know if we

Needed notes to take to our boss

I said, no I don’t work until…

You interrupted and mumbled

He does not work

And I said until tonight

I was going to say until my

Class tonight

But I gave up

She drew mine first

No problem

And then I told her you

Had almost cried before

When they gouged you in vain

As she felt your arm

I leaned against the wall

And turned my head

She got it on the first try

I thought you might pull it out

From joy

She measured our waists

Gave me a script for Mobic

Gave you a reduced BP med

Because of your secret

Dizzy spells

She went to ask the Dr.

What to do

And came back and said

The Dr. said hi

You said, tell her

We said hi, too.

They decided to send me to PT

For my back pain

You got reduced meds

We checked out

You getting your six-month

Appointment

Out in the hot morning sun

We told one another to drive

Carefully

And we went our separate ways

Me to Walmart

You to work

Can you believe it?

We went to the Dr.

Together