Rainbow’s End, Way Down Yonder on the Chattahoochie
Men of means, they tell me…
spurn the heart and listen EF Hutton-like to your Economic Intelligence (E-I)
Never forget the Zen Koan of Old McDonald and his farm…
whyyyy, just look at him now, serving trillions worldwide
E-I, E-I, Oh…
I will dress myself in attractive felt and when the
breeze blows pictures of Jackson and Hamilton my way
these handy bills will stick to me like green on a frog
With enough of them to buy me a wife,
a house and a boat
Then will I take my rowdy friends down on the Chatahoochie, that smoky silver-green
Saturday morning mirror
We who call ourselves the “what goes around comes around” club
Just a few hayseeds who fled first the country and then the city
Harry the Harasser, Otto the Outsourcer, Don the Downsizer,
and of course, me Herman “Racehorse” Menninger
Our careers are past us now…but like we used to say about our customers, by their spots ye shall know them
Suffice it to say, we got quirks
Harry the Harasser buys his lures at a place called “X Marks the Spot” at mile marker 92
Otto the Outsourcer is always asking somebody to take his catch off the hook
Don’t let Don the Downsizer filet your fish if you want any meat left on the bones
And me, well I’m perfectly harmless, just happy to be here, glad to still be in the club…
My little bass boat, a miniature river yacht called Big Cutter
Vibrates out to a spot behind raccoon village, what we call Lazy Island
I choke the engine and the heavy morning throws a thick quilt over us,
silencing everything but the birds…
and the sound of can tops popping, ‘fresh’…
From those roiling black waters we plot our corporeal course
Flannel against my back, Otto shivering, T cap on Don’s head,
Harry casting over top of us all
Imagine if you will Captain Corporate America!!!
Not.
Me and my snake-bitten, beer guzzling, awkward
talking associates
Filling a gallon bucket with scooped up water
Networking our way back to the dock
singing five fine fish for frying
…a half a tank of gas left, just like Zig Ziegler
recommends…fire up the nine dollar K-mart grill, sizzle and swill, I return thanks…
Our heavenly father, forgive us our many sins…Jesus plug up your ears when Harry starts in, God take Otto literally when he says the little ones are not worth worrying about
And father be with Don’s wife as she goes under the surgeon’s knife that will change her (and him) forever
And finally, if I may be a little selfish, help me to use the protein
from these your country river creations to fire up
my economic genius…and
Lord if it be thy will,
when folks across the world hit my old unworthy website, let em see your eternal face and not that sorry excuse for what I call wallpaper…
so I can afford a bigger boat and better buddies,
in the name of Heaven
watch over us
Amen.
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